Incredible Truth

the INCREDIBLE workings of GOD.

I have only a short amount of time to write, being at the moment in the fix of writing two essays this week alongside an exam and two other reading w/questions assignments...it's most certainly a challenge...and an impossible one were it not for the grace of God!

First, I will share with you some good news: I really felt impressed by the Lord to go ahead and switch to the 3 year program here. I did it just last week and will need to be fully registered for the Fall by the end of this one. How exciting! Elim has so quickly been becoming like a home for me, and my friendships continue to expand and deepen- with students and teachers alike- as the weeks progress. It's crazy to think, yet true, that this semester is more than half over. Wow!

I can only bring praise reports about the work of the Lord here...and at home! He is restoring my self-image, the life of my family, and everyone's understanding of truth and grace all at the same time! There is such a joy and expectation now when I hit my knees- because His plans for me are ever only good. His plans for anyone, ever for that matter. :]

I'll share with you a beautiful thing God did for me today. As I struggled over the image that others had of me here at Elim, God, in answer to my many cries for love and affirmation, told me just what HE thought of me...no questions asked. And I was finally ready to hear him. Throughout my life one of the strongest attacks of the enemy on my life has been the attack on my self-image. I view myself most often as a boring, annoying, awkward, judgmental, lazy, uninterested and irresponsible person. I know that all of this can't be true, but it is all what I have been believing...deep down. Compliments people gave me could never really have the full impact of affirmation because I never let myself be affirmed by the One whose opinion really mattered to me. It was today, this afternoon, that the opinion flooded my poor soul like a river of life. It was today that scales fell from my eyes and the gates of my heart were broken open by love.

To put it simply, though it can never be described, the Lord told me that I am humble, obedient, teachable and compassionate.

This afternoon, I told him that I didn't care if I was knocked down a couple ranks in the eyes of others- or even a lot of ranks...I only cared what He thought. They might think I am prideful and full-of-it and a sycophant (which, by the way, I don't think anyone thinks), but God I know that you see my real intentions. Yes, He said, and He told me all those wonderful descriptors of myself.

Then he said the most wonderful thing. He told me that He is proud of me. Proud of how I have obeyed him and cared for the wellbeing of others and given myself to whatever pleases Him. He is proud of how I have sought truth and sought Him. He is proud.

I was astonished at first. God? Proud of me? How could the God of the entire Universe ever be proud of me? I'm not good yet, not perfect. But He opened the eyes of my understanding to see that He is proud of me right now, right where I'm at. I measure up.

That's it in a nutshell, and the freedom in my deep parts is so wide.

I wrote a song after all of this, and I think it describes a lot of what's happened:

The enemy, he speaks.

Telling me that I'm worthless.

The enemy he cheats

Me of the truth that I'm worth it.

Where can I run from him, where can I go?

Where can I flee from this flow of endless lies?

There's a new day coming right around the bend.

There's a new day when darkness comes to an end.

And I'm gonna stay right where He finds me.

And He's gonna break all the chains that bind me.

His Love is great and nothing else defines me.

He stays the same and nothing can divide me

from Him.

Thanks be to God. Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah!