The Oasis: Semester 4: Part II

here is part 2 of my latest blog. feel free to read the titles and choose to read what sticks out (I know it's sort of a lot between the two blogs ;D)

KEY LESSONS LEARNED

Here are some of the main ideas God has been trying to get across to me this semester…many of them life changing.

Kingdom Mindset

--Son identity…we live like kids relating to a Papa.

--Work from [the place of] rest.

--Stay set in His presence.

--Instead of complaining that roses come with thorns, be grateful that thorns (what we deserve after the Fall) come with roses.

--Longing for Eden. Recognize Eden daily & be blessed. Take heart + hope!

--Human being vs human doing. We are created human beings.

--I always have an A+ in His book… (the cross is the + sign) Let go of human grades & approval.

--no false humility/inferiority complex…leads me backwards (still learning)

--We need each other. Being unbalanced (as we all are) drives interdependence, which facilitates knowing the fullness (different sides, ways, manifestations, etc) of God.

--He’s not part of my plan, I’m part of His!

--It’s not on me. It’s still grace. I can’t do anything valuable apart from my Vine, my Source, my enablement.

--If you go by God’s blueprints, it’s gonna work out. Guaranteed.

Here’s a snippet from an internet article that really hit me hard…in a good way. It’s where God’s taking me and I’m very grateful:

One of the most important principles we should understand is that it is wrong to compare ourselves with other men. It is indeed a mistake to compare ourselves with others. The Apostle Paul wrote: “For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise” 2 Cor. 10:12). It is too easy to look upon the outward appearance and accomplishments of others and then to feel either superior or inferior. ” . . . For the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart” (1 Sam. 16:7). No matter how accomplished one may be, we must remember this: “For who maketh thee to differ from another? and what hast thou that thou didst not receive? now if thou didst receive it, why dost thou glory, as if thou hadst not received it?” (1 Cor. 4:7). The fact is: We are debtors to all men, and whatever we have, or whatever we are, came from others, even our capabilities, appearance and intelligence. Arrogance has no place in this physical life and certainly not in the Kingdom of God.

TRACK CHANGE: MINISTRY TO WORSHIP LEADERSHIP

Here’s another big happening in The Elim Life….a track change!

Now here at Elim we all major in Bible, but we have the choice of 4 different minors or “tracks.” They are Ministry, Missions, Youth, and Worship. I have been in the Ministry track these 4 semesters, but lo and behold, God used the classes I’ve taken in Ministry to equip me there and now He’s ready to take me somewhere new!

I encountered the Lord after one chapel service mid-week and He made clear to me that I was to be a worship leader. I kinda decided to put that Word aside until confirmation came “just in case” it wasn’t Him (though I was almost certain it was). See, while I love worship, it takes MUSIC THEORY and BEING RATHER EXCELLENT in a musical instrument (along with calling and anointing of course) to actually lead worship. I was (and still am) pretty sure that Music Theory and instruments aren’t up my “easy peezy sure I can do that” alley. Nuh uh. It’s work! And maybe that’s why God’s calling me into it…to make sure I always remember when I’m formed and functioning that it’s Him and not my innate talent.

It’s pretty neat how confirmation came out. Kent Henry was here at Elim Gospel Church across the pond leading worship at the Kingdom Conference and in between services that Sunday morning he sat me down beside him and prophesied and prayed over me & directly confirmed what God had told me. SO uplifting and encouraging!

Also, Brother David, a teacher here, came up to me within a few days of that confirmation and asked me if I wrote songs. I said yes and he said that the Patmos Project is going to record a CD of Patmos worship and that he wants me to be a contributing songwriter! Woah! We’ve already had our first meeting…a team of about 8 of us…and I’m super excited!

BLESSINGS

God has been providing for me financially in amazing ways. I was so overwhelmed at how you took the time to contact me and ask how I was doing and then to send me money. I need it, too- and my faith just builds and builds as He provides for me and keeps me going.

So many of you have prayed for me too- once, twice, or much- it all does SO much in me and for me! Thank you for your love and investment in my life. I’m again, overwhelmed.

I’ve been blessed this semester, too, by already having two breaks where I was able to go home and visit my family. I love you guys so so SOOOOOOOOO much & I’m amazed at God’s work in each of us.

Thanks to everyone, too, who sent me snail mail or emails. Sweet sweet reminders that you are thinking about me and care.

Well, that about sums it up- though I could probably write a novel about the awesomeness of God and the blessing that is Elim. Thanks for reading this and thank you for caring.

May the God of all peace fill you.

Amen!

The Oasis: Semester 4: Part I

So since it’s a new semester- I think it’s time for a blog update!

Wow- I can’t even bring my thoughts together to fully describe the beauty and grace of God in my life this semester, but I will try.

So this past summer I had a good internship and a good mission trip. Both stretched me in new ways and I came away from both with the understanding that relationships are what make the difference in this world. God isn’t about programs or places….He’s about people.

I’ve organized the rest of this blog in sections & sub-sections so you can pick and choose to read what you’re interested in if you don’t have time for a long sit down. ;) Actually, I may just make it two posts! So…Part I:

PATMOS PRAYER

Then came the start of this semester…or actually a little while before it started I heard word of a new program/project starting up at Elim. I found out it was called the Patmos Prayer Project and consisted of a dedication to 3 hrs daily in the prayer room plus 3 weekly spiritual formation classes. I was siked! I have been crying out these past semesters for a deeper prayer life…and not just for me but campus wide. And looked how He answered! The school literally took one wing of our chapel and built a wall to close it off and make it into the prayer room. And it’s beautiful! We had a whole weekend dedicating ourselves to prayer & dedicating Patmos to God.

CLASS DESCRIPTIONS

In order to join the Project I had to put aside some classes that went with my normal track, but it’s so worth it! Plus, as I will say a bit later, God had me change tracks anyway! The classes I’m taking now are:

Public Speaking & Preaching II

--we basically get to preach and evaluate other’s preaching the whole semester. I’m preaching four 20min sermons—most all expository (expounding on what the passage itself wants to say) and from both the OT and NT. LOVIN IT!

Acts & Paul’s Letters

--we’re working thoroughly through each and every chapter & verse of Acts, having to know nearly every person & place mentioned, including what they did and where & what chapter we can find them in. Intense, right? Yet I love it too!

Theology III (Holy Spirit) Independent Study

--enjoying a personalized version of this class one-on-one with the teacher. (im retaking it b/c I failed it 2 summers ago after summer school when I got really sick). I love it because you can never learn enough about God the Holy Spirit!

Spiritual Formation

--my favorite class. The professor himself said we’re not going to learn intellectually in this class….from our head….but we’re going to learn spiritually…from our gut. Thus, no papers to write or textbooks to read, but fruitful and amazing learning & practice of ways to form our spiritual life & pursue God. I can’t even begin to describe how much I love it! :]

Coming up next…

KEY LESSONS LEARNED

Elim Internship

As most of you know, this summer I am completing my senior internship for Elim at a church in Herkimer, NY called "New Life."

Today is my first day and I can already tell you that the family I'm staying with is incredibly kind and loving and the pastors of the church I'll be working at are also full of Father's love. Yes!

I hope to keep you up-to-date on some of the big (and little) things that happen while I'm up here.

I'll be writing in another blog through my account so that I can save this one for school.

it's: http://inturningship.blogspot.com

God is gooooood!!

When Freedom Reigns

Wow, where to begin?

It has been a long time since updating this blog, and though it seems unfortunate, it just makes me all the more eager to fill you in on all the glorious work that God has done!

As you may have seen from my last blog, I was planning to take 5 classes this semester. That changed rather dramatically when, after a rather successful start in my classes after NYSUM in the fall, my health and my heart took a turn for the worse.

I went through debilitating days filled with pain and depression and my will to keep going faltered throughout each day. I am so grateful to God that He kept me through all of that. He IS always enough.

So to tell you a bit of last semester's story- after coming to a place where I was not going to be able to complete multiple assignments, I turned to some energy/focus giving medication for the final 2 weeks and got all my work done, praise God! Unfortunately, my fibromyalgia took the medication badly and I went into a flare-up with so much pain during finals week that I was again debilitated....this time not by the mind and fatigue but by literal physical pain. Thus, I got off all these meds for winter break. I saw doctors over break who put me on other meds for fibro, and those each ended up either not contributing to any relief or causing more complicating symptoms.

Over break I realized that life needed to change for me if I was going to learn to live in my new condition. I was no longer the "old Carleigh" who could easily pull off a paper whenever she wanted or fill her day with activity upon activity. God helped me to realize that SLOWing down and leaving little room for stress was the best approach. Through God's grace, I was able to drop 2 classes (History of Ancient Israel & Management for Christian Leaders) and live on campus with only 8 credits. And let me tell you, it's made all the difference!

I have been de-stressed and at rest this semester and it's been so good for me. The Lord gave me a word before this semester started that it would be a good one. I was excited! Oh, and thank the Lord, nearly all the funds came in for this semester--allowing me to rest from the pressure of providing $ while battling health issues and completing my schoolwork. Thanks be to God! He has truly used my brothers and sisters to bless me and I pray and know He will bless them in return.

Speaking of you, my brother or sister, your prayers for me have moved mountains through God's strength. So you want to hear something amazing??

Welll....one night about a month ago now I had come to the point where I was too tired. I was done with the battle over my mind and body and I was wondering if God really did love his creation and whether he actually wanted good for me. I considered leaving Elim, stopping all this "right-choice-making," and just giving up. But my Papa wouldn't have it. That night, he told me to get prophetic ministry at Elim Gospel Church across the lake the next morning at church. I grudgingly agreed, and though my spirit was still rather healthly and joyful, everything else in me was grumpy and put down. But HE WINS! I was able to receive His word to me through prophecy and it was so right-on that I KNEW- far beyond a shadow of a doubt- that God was watching me and listening to me and that the lies I had considered about Him were from the pit of Hell! HE LOVES! HE CARES!

The end of my prophecy contained the words "enough is enough." God was bringing- that day- closure into my life. No more torment and no more pain. Those were His words over me!

And guess what, beloved friend? Ever since that Word to me a month ago, I have had such great freedom and release from my symptoms- every one- that my current state of HEALTH is nothing but miraculous! I am full of gratitude and praise. HE IS FAITHFUL!

I have continued on one medication, Savella, and a vitamin super-antioxidant called pycnogenol (thanks to a wonderful woman's advise at COA) and I am still seeking the Lord as to what steps I should take or refrain from taking in these next months. I have been exercising consistently now and am still sticking to my healthy diet. In all, He's got me. He's got me.

So that faith experience, as you might assume, has brought me out of valley of darkness into an upwards climb towards God's next place for me. In the wise words of Jeannine, I'm "riding the wave." Up and down, down and up- I'm in the boat with Jesus. I'm here and so is He. :)

One other awesome experience I must mention--my grace conversion!

Never before had the gospel pierced my heart so clearly as it did during the week of prayer at the beginning of this semester. We had a week of no classes, with 3 chapels a day. We were focused on encountering God and letting Him do His work and will in us. Well I'll tell you what- HE CAME! On my 21st birthday, January 19th, which was during this week, God struck me with the convicting revelation that I had been seeking HIS glory for myself. He even let me hear in my mind the worship songs being sung to me rather than Him and I was just completely broken. I sobbed and wept like never before. Truly I am a wretched heart! And yet, what beauty he rebuilt from that broken place. Just 2 days later, on January 21st, after a clear gospel message urging us to stop trying to pay penance and to rather receive the gracious all-encompassing redemption Christ already paid with his blood, the Spirit struck me with revelation and opened the eyes of my heart. I cried hard once again, coming from the despair of my inability to gain salvation into the glorious understanding that the work has been done on my behalf and I can live in freedom- no longer trying to spill my own blood for acceptance before Abba.

I am not a worthy sacrifice!!!

Amazing? Yes! I actually "experienced" salvation's freedom for the first time. And now as I'm reading a book called "Discipleship by Grace" by Derek Levendusky, I realize that that event was my "grace conversion." No more legalism and penance- just grace and love and freedom and goodness because of and by HIS goodness, HIS grace!

Wow, that's a lot, eh? :D

Just a few tidbits more:

• my roommate Brit (whom I lovingly call "Hoji" and she calls me "Kai") are SO SO SO good for each other. We are planning, God willing, to even room together next semester and beyond. She stood by me in my illness--doing my laundry and understanding my hard place by faith, not knowing it for herself or seeing it evidently on the surface. She is super wacky with me and we share a common knack for messiness (which we both hope to overcome...:P) She is full of love and conscientiousness that I've not seen in many others. She is a great joy to my heart--certainly a blessing ordained by Papa.
• Spiritual Warfare, one of my classes here, has opened my eyes to the reality of the spiritual battle raging around us every day. I have come to realize even more the authority I have in Jesus name- in HIS character and authority. Submit to God, resist the devil and he WILL flee from you! James 4:7
• Basic Worship piano is AWESOME!! The Spirit even gave me a chance to lead a little "Worship and the Word" in the prayer room this past Friday. Making up songs on the spot from Scripture and praying/singing them to the accompaniment of piano chords is SO cool.
• I get to preach 2 sermons for Preaching class and I'm actually quite excited! I have a real love (and I believe gift) for preaching and expounding on the Word. Yes!!
• It's really all about God's glory. We tried and still try to hijack it- and he responds with life-sacrificing grace unto salvation and forgiveness. wow.
• 3 BIG words for me: FREEDOM, GRACE, GRATITUDE.
• I'm slowly yet surely learning not to rush. It really just doesn't help anything.
• I'm still not sure what this summer is going to hold. Lord, give light. I will follow by your grace.
• I got a new cellphone #, so ask me if ya need it ;)
• For student ministry, I am helping to lead worship for a Sunday morning church service and a Sunday morning woman's Bible study (I'm going back and forth btwn 2 churches) and I love it! I also get to lead a Sunday school class sometimes, which is always a good time. (I love teaching!)
• Look and Listen. I'm learning the beauty of this.
• AWARENESS of the reality of reality is vital. Let's not walk around deceived or apathetic--with Jesus we are called to be much more. Do this for Your Church, dear Lord!

Oh, I could go on and may have missed some rather important things, but all is well. :) Thanks for sticking this blog out and reading it...truly. It's cool that you're interested in my life and what God is doing with it. He's so amazing, eh? SO!

Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
“Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?”
“Who has ever given to God,
that God should repay them?”
For from him and through him and for him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen.

Romans 11:33-36